Cactus Kleinschmidt's Cosmic Casino Part One
by Gorshin Romero
Summary: Batman meets a German Wild West Outlaw (picture Arnold Schwarzenegger or Dolph Lundgren) in Gotham City. Note that he speaks with a German accent, and it shows in the written dialogue.


_Scene 1. Exterior of a street in Gotham City._

Announcer V.O.

A typical day in Gotham City. But **what's this?**

_CACTUS KLEINSCHMIDT, a German bodybuilder type of cowboy in a ten gallon black hat rides in on his horse with his entourage and a covered wagon. He has three henchman dressed as casino dealers. They are FULLHAUS, BLACKJACK, &amp; LONGSHOT. A pretty blonde German fraulein in pigtails and a Bavarian beerhall costume is with them too. She is ROULETTA. All of them wear nametags as any casino worker would have. Cactus Kleinschmidt and company stop in the middle of the street and call out to the onlookers. Rouletta and the others have flyers in their hands that read "Cactus Kleinschmidt's Cosmic Casino Grand Opening on the outskirts of Gotham City. All are WILKOMEN!" They pass these out._

Cactus Kleinschmidt

Guten Tag, Effreybody. I am Cactus Kleinschmidt, der rootenest undt tootenest cowpokey in der vild vest, undt I have driven mein covered wagon all der vay from Bavaria in Deutschland to Gotham City to bring you gut people der _finest_ Cosmic Casino mit space age technology! Come to der grand opening of der cosmic casino on der site of der oldt Gotham City Ranch, NOW OPEN for your gambling undt entertainment pleasure!

_The citizens look pleased at this and do the general ad libbing of excitement._

Cactus Kleinschmidt

I proudly introduce to you my dealers: Fullhaus, Blackjack, undt Longshot, ready for action! Undt to serve you mit some adult refreshments, der lovely Fraulein Rouletta!

Rouletta

There is nothing I like better than serving mein liebshens some ice cold beer for your pleasure. Everybody come undt see us at der cosmic casino, NOW OPEN!

_Rouletta smiles seductively. As they pass out the flyers to everybody, the crowd starts to dissipate._

Fullhaus

Hey Boss, it looks like we got plenty o' suckers to hand over their hard earned cash to us.

Blackjack

That's right Cactus. I can feel all that money just rolling between my fingers.

Longshot

Just wait 'till all those suckers, I mean, **customers,** show up to the casino! My video horse race game will bring showers of money to us!

Blackjack

What're you talking about? My game of 21 is gonna' bring in more money than those videos of a bunch of nags running in circles!

Longshot

Horse races are more exciting than a bunch of retirees sitting around waiting for you to pass them out your marked cards! I'll have the most people at my games.

Fullhaus

Would the two of you care to place a friendly wager on that?

Cactus Kleinschmidt

Herren, herren. Dher is no reason to argue amongst ourselves. Vhen der vord gets out dat our games give generous payouts, der bait vill bring dem in, undt der trap vill be set, because as alvays is der case:

**Der Haus Vins!**

Rouletta

Oh Cactus, I luff it vhen you talk money!

_They all laugh raucously. _

_Scene 2, Interior of COMMISSIONER GORDON'S office where he and CHIEF O'HARA are. Commissioner Gordon is on the phone._

Commissioner Gordon

Yes Bonnie, I understand. We'll get right on it.

_He hangs up the phone._

Commissioner Gordon

Chief O'Hara, it looks as though the European outlaw Cactus Kleinschmidt has come to fleece our citizens out of their hard earned money.

Chief O'Hara

Sure and it is a dark day for the honest citizens of Gotham City. What are we going to do, Commissioner?

Commissioner Gordon

There's only one thing to do, Chief O'Hara.

_They both approach the batphone._

_Scene 3. Interior of stately Wayne Manor. ALFRED THE FAITHFUL BUTLER is dusting off the desk in the study of BRUCE WAYNE when the red BATPHONE starts BEEPING._

Alfred

I'll call him, Sir.

_Scene 4. Interior. Alfred goes into the parlor where BRUCE WAYNE &amp; DICK GRAYSON sit on the couch visiting with AUNT HARRIET._

Aunt Harriet

Lately I've been trying to learn how to play bridge, but I just don't seem to have to have the knack for it.

Bruce

What do they say, Aunt Harriet? Lucky in love…

Dick

…Unlucky at cards.

Alfred

Excuse me sir, but a small matter came up while I was dusting…in the study, sir.

Bruce

I understand, Alfred. Dick, why don't we join Alfred in the study and see if we can't help him out.

Dick

Gosh yes, Bruce.

Bruce

Aunt Harriet, if you'll excuse us.

Aunt Harriet  
Okay, but later on let's see if the two of you and Alfred can help me with my bridge game.

Dick

As soon as we can, Aunt Harriet.

_Scene 5. Interior of Bruce Wayne's Study. Bruce picks up the batphone for an intercut phone conversation._

Bruce

Yes Commissioner.

Commissioner Gordon

Disturbing news, Caped Crusader. It seems that the European super criminal and Wild West outlaw, Cactus Kleinschmidt, has purchased the old Gotham City Ranch.

Bruce

We're on our way, Commissioner.

_He hangs up the phone._

Bruce

To the batpoles, Dick.

_They open the bust of Shakespeare to open the secret passage to the batpoles and slide down. _

_Scene 6. Interior of the BAT CAVE. In costume and ready for action, Batman and Robin jump into the BATMOBILE, buckle their seat belts, and zoom out of the bat cave._

_Scene 7. Exterior. The batmobile pulls out of the bat cave and zooms past the road sign that reads "Gotham City 14 Miles" followed by the ROLLING OF THE OPENING CREDITS &amp; THEME SONG._

_Scene 8. Exterior. Just outside of GOTHAM CITY P.D. HEADQUARTERS, the batmobile pulls up and parks. Batman and Robin exit and run up the steps._

_Scene 9. Interior of Commissioner Gordon's Office. Batman looks at the flyer promoting the casino._

Batman

Cactus Kleinschmidt's Cosmic Casino.

Robin

More like Cactus Kleinschmidt's Den of vice. Only a fiend like that could take innocent games like Go Fish and video horse racing and turn them into vile games of chance.

Batman

From what I've read about Cactus Kleinschmidt, he has a practice of opening up casinos outside the city limits so he can run his den of sin legally. As soon as he cleans the good citizens out of their money, he packs up and moves to another town with all of his ill-gotten gains, and starts the process all over again.

Commissioner Gordon

Interpol has also let us know that he comes from a long line of Prussian duelists. He's never lost a duel…ever.

Robin

Holy Bullseye! He sounds dangerous.

Commissioner Gordon

He is, Boy Wonder. He has the brazen nerve of a wild west outlaw, combined with the savvy to keep people coming back to his vile casino.

Chief O'Hara

Saints presarve us, Caped Crusader. What's a root'n toot'n cowboy doing coming out of Garmany?

Batman

**West…**Germany, Chief O'Hara.

Robin

Since he has the casino legally, we can't really shut him down unless we can prove that his games are rigged.

Commissioner Gordon

That won't be easy. If he sees the two of you coming, there's no way that he'd try any funny business.

Batman

Robin and myself? No. However, perhaps Cactus Kleinschmidt could be baited if we used a less conspicuous person. Commissioner, perhaps if you asked millionaire Bruce Wayne to accompany you to the casino for a night of fun and frolic, we could get a closer look at his operation to see how it works. If you and Bruce Wayne go undercover, you could get an inside look at the casino and find out what his game is. Once you find out what's going on, Robin and I can move in.

Commissioner Gordon

Millionaire Bruce Wayne? Come now, Batman. As much as I admire Bruce Wayne, he's hardly somebody I would use as an undercover spy. Millionaire playboys aren't exactly…inconspicuous.

Batman

Maybe not, but he's just the type of person that Cactus Kleinschmidt &amp; his posse would try to take advantage of.

Commissioner Gordon

All right, I suppose that I could ask him. But I don't want him to lose his shirt to this fiend. I'll have to keep a close eye on him. I'd hate to think that a naïve young man like millionaire playboy Bruce Wayne could be cheated by this fraud.

Batman

I'm sure as a pillar of the community, Bruce Wayne will be happy to help out. Just let him know the purpose of the visit, and I'm sure he will be on the lookout for any suspicious activity. In the meantime, Robin and I will go back to the bat cave and see what else we can dig up on our Prussian visitor.

_Scene 10. Exterior daytime establishing shot of the casino. A large FLASHING NEON SIGN reads CACTUS KLEINSCHMIDT'S COSMIC CASINO. _

_Scene 11. Interior of the casino. CRAP TABLES, ROULETTE WHEELS, &amp; BLACKJACK TABLES decorate the area. SEVERAL ELDERLY CUSTOMERS, including Aunt Harriet, accompanied by Alfred the Butler and several elderly women from her bridge club, are sitting at the blackjack table._

Blackjack

Mrs. Cooper, I'm amazed at the skill you've shown playing 21. You must really know your strategy.

Aunt Harriet

_(flattered)_

Well actually, I'm just a beginner, but I'm amazed too. With your help, I've won every hand. Don't you think that's amazing, Alfred?

Alfred

Indeed Madame, **amazing **is not quite the word that I was looking for. Perhaps now would be a good time to cash in your chips, and, as they say, quit while you're ahead.

Aunt Harriet

Oh Alfred, don't be such an old fuddy-duddy. I appreciate you driving us all here, but it's time to loosen up. Hit me, Blackjack!

Blackjack

Well Mrs. Cooper, your luck is astounding! You've hit 21 again! I must say, you're a natural at this.

Aunt Harriet

Isn't this delightful?

_Rouletta and Cactus Kleinschmidt approach. Rouletta has a tray full of drinks._

Cactus Kleinschmidt

Guten Tag, Frau Cooper. I see that you are very successful mit der card game. Permit me to buy you one of our libations, on der haus! Vould you care for beer, schnapps, or…I know! **You** look a lady that drinks Gewurztraminer.

Aunt Harriet

Ger **WHATS **traminer?

Alfred  
It's a wine, madame, but hardly your forte.

Aunt Harriet

Perhaps a ginger ale **would **be more my speed.

Rouletta

I have just the thing for you, Frau Cooper.

_Rouletta hands Aunt Harriet the drink, which she guzzles down. Immediate cut to the video horse racing game._

Aunt Harriet

_(loud &amp; obnoxious)_

Let's go number 4! Get it in gear you refugee from a glue factory!

Longshot

As they make their way around the turn, it's number 4 by a nose!

Aunt Harriet

_(elated)_

Look everybody, I won!

Longshot

Would you care to make another wager, Mrs. Cooper?

Alfred

I think she's had enough. Madame, if you and your friends would cash in your chips at this time, we can make our return trip home.

Aunt Harriet

Alfred, how can we leave now? I'm on a roll!

Cactus Kleinschmidt

Perhaps your chaperone is correct, Frau Cooper. Now vould be a gut time to cash in your chips. But don't vorry, der Cosmic Casino is open every night dis veek. In fact, vhy don't you inform your nephew, der young man you vere telling us about; vhat's his name?

Aunt Harriet

His name is Bruce. He's a millionaire playboy, you know.

Cactus Kleinschmidt

He sounds like my type of player! A real _**high roller. **_Just der kind of customer vee **like to roll here! **Isn't dat right, Longshot?

Longshot

Just the type, boss.

Cactus Kleinschmidt

Now Frau Cooper, let me escort you to der cage so you can cash in your chips, undt I'll get you anudder ginger ale from Rouletta; it's **on der haus! **

Alfred

Perhaps I'd better escort you as well, madame.

Aunt Harriet

Nonsense Alfred! I'm a big girl **and **a high roller! This charming young cowboy said that he would escort me to the cage. In fact, I'll have my friends from the bridge club go with me too. Now go grab the limousine and meet us at the front door.

Alfred

Certainly madame.

_Alfred follows the order, but he's watching in the background._

Cactus Kleinschmidt

A round of drinks on der haus for der luffly fraus of der bridge club!

_The ladies cackle with delight._

_Scene 12. Interior of the bat cave. Alfred has informed Batman &amp; Robin of what he has witnessed._

Batman

So Aunt Harriet was a big winner?

Alfred

It would appear so sir, at first anyway. She was certainly strutting her stuff, as the young people say. I myself actually watched Mrs. Cooper and her friends collect their winnings at the cage before I left them to retrieve the limousine and drive them back home.

Robin

Holy Las Vegas Nite!

Alfred

However, it would seem that after she returned home, she couldn't remember what happened to all of her winnings. She swore that she had put all the cash into her purse, as did all of her friends from the bridge club. But upon arriving back home, she found that in spite of cleaning up, she had been, shall we say, cleaned out.

Batman

It appears that our genial host at the casino has a way of making sure that even the winners get taken to the cleaners.

Alfred

And to make matters worse, she and her friends **insist on returning **to that vile den of iniquity to try to win their money back. They seem to fancy themselves as high rollers these days.

Robin

Holy Loaded Dice!

Alfred

More like loaded **drinks,** Master Robin. I believe there was more to that ginger ale than that lovely blonde fraulein let on.

Robin

Gosh Batman, Aunt Harriet and her bridge club sure got taken for a ride. How can we get their money back for them?

Batman

Perhaps we can use this regrettable incident to our advantage, old chum. Remember that Cactus Kleinschmidt encouraged Aunt Harriet to bring her nephew, millionaire Bruce Wayne, to this cosmic casino. Since Commissioner Gordon should be calling any minute now to make that date, Bruce Wayne can mention how his Aunt Harriet got cleaned out, thus making him eager to win her money back.

_The regular PHONE RINGS._

Batman

I wonder who that could be.

_He picks up the phone._

Batman

Hello, this is Bruce Wayne. Commissioner Gordon, what a nice surprise.

_Scene 13. Interior. The PRIVATE UPSTAIRS ROOM OF THE COSMIC CASINO. A TELESCOPE and several ELECTRONIC MICROPHONES &amp; LISTENING DEVICES are scattered in front of windows looking down at the casino game room. Cactus Kleinschmidt and his four assistants are very happy carrying in BOXES OF CASH. Cactus Kleinschmidt indicates the telescope and bugging devices._

Cactus Kleinschmidt

I tell you vhat Fullhaus, Herr Goldfinger taught you vell, at least before he got sucked out of dat aeroplane.

Fullhaus

That was certainly the best internship I ever had, doing odd jobs for Herr Goldfinger.

Rouletta

So tell me liebshen, how long do we plan on staying in this one horse town?

Cactus Kleinschmidt

Vee are **not leaving**! Dis place is a **gold mine!** Vee can make Gotham City der new Las Vegas! As long as der people keep thinking dat dhey are big vinners…

Blackjack

**And **as long as Fullhaus keeps working the upstairs electrical room telescope and listening devices effectively…

Longshot

**And** as long as Fullhaus keeps adjusting the speeds on the projector for the horse races…

Fullhaus

**And **as long as Rouletta keeps serving her…**special drinks**…to the unsuspecting public just before they collect their winnings…

Rouletta

It's like a dream come true for us, liebshen.

Fullhaus

Except for one thing, boss. What about that crime fighting duo we keep hearing about? You know, Batman and Robin, the Boy Wonder.

_Cactus Kleinschmidt bristles angrily and pulls out his GUN FROM THE HOLSTER, twirling it menacingly around his trigger finger._

Cactus Kleinschmidt

Der Fliedermaus!? **Oooohhh, Der Fliedermaus!** If dat Fliedermaus dares to interfere mit mein plans, I vill make certain dat his luck on der vheel of fortune runs out immediately. And as for Robin der Wunderkind, I **eat wunderkinds for breakfast mit mein eggs undt toast!** Vee have nothing to fear.

_They all laugh raucously._

_Scene 14. Exterior of the casino at night. The parking lot is full. Discreetly parked off to the side of the road is the batmobile. Alfred sits in the driver's seat while Robin sits in the passenger seat. Alfred wears a mask over his eyes._

Alfred

Master Bruce should be pulling up shortly with Commissioner Gordon. I took the precaution of bringing his crime fighting outfit with us in the trunk.

Robin

As soon as Bruce notices any monkey business going on in that casino, he'll be right out here to get his costume, and then we'll pounce on that Prussian cowboy and put him and his crew of criminals out of business once and for all.

Alfred

Master Robin, I believe that is them arriving in the distance.

_Scene 15. Interior of the casino. Commissioner Gordon and Bruce Wayne arrive._

Commissioner Gordon

I'm glad you recognize the importance of this visit, Bruce. Try not to lose too much money.

Bruce

My Aunt Harriet claims she was a big winner the other day when she came here with her bridge group, but she doesn't seem to recall where she put her money after she collected her winnings. I found that very strange, Commissioner. I hope she's not getting forgetful in her old age.

Commissioner Gordon

Very strange indeed, Bruce. I have a feeling there's more to this place than meets the eye.

Bruce

Perhaps, but hopefully I can win some extra money tonight anyway. Even us millionaire playboys could always use a little extra cash from time to time.

Commissioner Gordon

Of course.

_Cactus Kleinschmidt approaches the two of them._

Cactus Kleinschmidt

Wilkomen, Herren! Have either von uff you ever been to der Cosmic Casino before?

Bruce

Actually this is my first time here. I'm Bruce Wayne, the millionaire playboy, and I'm ready to try my luck here tonight. This is my friend…Mr. Gordon.

Cactus Kleinschmidt

**Wunderbar! A high roller!** Rouletta! Come over here please. Tell me Herr Vayne, vhat is your preference? Rouletta here vill get you any type of liquid refreshment you prefer.

Rouletta

I'm here to serve you, sir…**whatever **you like…

Bruce

You know, right now I would love a chocolate milkshake…shaken of course…not stirred.

Cactus Kleinschmidt

Herr Vayne, I admit that vee Germans are **famous for our chocolate.** Howeffer, I must remind you dat dhis is an adult establishment. I'm sorry to inform you dat dhere ihst no ice cream parlor on der premises. I'll have to offer you something else a bit more…appropriate. Peach schnapps, perhaps?

Bruce

Thanks or perhaps I should say Donke schoen, but I think I'll pass for now.

Cactus Kleinschmidt

As you vish, Herr Millionaire Playboy Vayne. Undt vhat about you, sir? Can Rouletta get you anything?

Commissioner Gordon

Actually I think a glass of water, on the rocks, will do just nicely.

Rouletta

Cactus, it looks like we have a couple of wienerschnitzels here with us.

Cactus Kleinschmidt

Nonsense Rouletta. Bring der gentleman a vasser on der rocks. Undt it's on der haus, herren. Enjoy der games.

_Cut to Commissioner Gordon rolling the dice._

Commissioner Gordon

Hit me baby, daddy needs a new pair of shoes.

_He rolls a seven._

Commissioner Gordon

**Yes! **Bruce I've never been so lucky in all my born days. All right let's do it again, I'm going to bet it all.

_As soon as Cactus Kleinschmidt hears this, he watches for Commissioner Gordon to roll the dice. The dice land on seven, but Cactus Kleinschmidt presses a button on the side of the table which shakes the dice causing them to roll over to snake eyes. Amid the cries of disappointment, Bruce notices this._

Bruce

Tough luck Commissioner.

Commissioner Gordon

I don't understand it, Bruce. I was hot…I was truly hot.

Bruce

Don't take it so hard, Commissioner. As they say, easy come easy go.

Commissioner Gordon

I think I'll try my luck at the video horse races. Care to join me?

Bruce

Actually Commissioner, I think I'll step outside for a few minutes. I need to get some air.

Commissioner Gordon

Okay but don't take too long. Remember, we're on a mission here.

Bruce

Trust me Commissioner, I think we're closer to accomplishing that mission than you might think.

_Cut to exterior. Scene 16. Bruce meets Robin at the batmobile._

Robin

Did you find anything suspicious?

Bruce

It seems that our Prussian casino operator has rigged tables. Let's go old chum, it's time to turn the tables on **him.**

_Cut to interior Scene 17. The Casino. Batman and Robin enter unobtrusively._

_Scene 18. Interior of the upstairs observation room._

Fullhaus

_(on a microphone)_

Hey everybody, we've got trouble. It looks like Batman and Robin got in here somehow. I'll be right down.

_Cut to Scene 19. Interior of the casino._

Cactus Kleinschmidt

SO…der fliedermaus undt der wunderkind are here. Let's roll!

_Batman &amp; Robin try to get everybody's attention._

Batman

Citizens, you've got to listen to me. You're being cheated out of your hard earned money at this crooked casino. You've got to stop your gambling.

Cactus Kleinschmidt

**FLIEDERMAUS!** How dare you come into my establishment undt disturb mein customers!?

Batman

You call yourself a cowboy, but the true cowboys carried on a tradition of honor and integrity.

Robin

Batman's right, Cactus Kleinschmidt! Have you no shame?

Cactus Kleinschmidt

Dhere **is** **no** **Shame! **He von't come back. Undt der two of you von't be back either. Get dem, herren! **Schnell! SCHNELL! BARIECHTUSH!**

_The Dynamic Duo are attacked by Fullhaus, Blackjack, and Longshot. During the bat fight, words like POW, BIFF, SCHMACK!, OOFENSCHNITZEL! &amp; OUCHENHOSEN! Appear onscreen. Batman &amp; Robin appear to be winning the fight by dispatching the three thugs._

Batman

And now Cactus Kleinschmidt, your operation is kaput! Ferdig!

Robin

Over and done!

Cactus Kleinschmidt

Perhaps you vould like to make a little vager on dat.

Robin

What's he talking about, Batman?

Cactus Kleinschmidt

You have overstepped your bounds, Fliedermaus. Dis property is located just outside der boundary line of Gotham City, undt you have no authority here. You have vandalized mein business for which I have a valid license; you have destroyed mein gaming tables, you haff disturbed der piece, **undt you** have assaulted mein employees who were trying to legally stop you from causing a ruckus. I could sue you in a court of law **undt **have you arrested and charged with destruction of private property undt a variety of udder crimes.

Commissioner Gordon

I'm afraid he's right, Caped Crusaders.

Robin

Holy Craps Batman. It looks like we just rolled snake eyes.

Cactus Kleinschmidt

Not necessarily, Wunderkind. I'm villing to resist filing criminal and civil charges against der both of you as vell as Gotham City, provided dat you make a bet mit me. If you vin, all my belongings vill be packed up and moved out of town, never to return. But if **I vin, I **open my casinos **all over Gotham City, **undt nobody ever disturbs me or attempts to get rid of me or mein staff ever again! I operate freely and exempt from all laws. Vhat do you say, Fliedermaus? Do you vish to gamble against der haus? Dealer's choice.

Batman

All right, Cactus Kleinschmidt. I accept your challenge.

Cactus Kleinschmidt

_(grinning wickedly)_

**Wunderbar!**

Robin

Batman, do you think you can beat him at his own crooked games?

Batman

A crime fighter must be willing to take risks, Robin; it's how we contribute to being good public citizens. So Cactus Kleinschmidt, what do you propose?

Cactus Kleinschmidt

A duel at dawn.

Commissioner Gordon

A duel? Batman, that would be suicide! He's never lost a duel!

Cactus Kleinschmidt

Correct.

Robin

Holy dueling pistols, Batman! You could be killed.

Cactus Kleinschmidt

It's either dat, or I sue you and Gotham City for all der damage you caused. I'll end up owning der entire government undt der entire population of Gotham City. Vhich is it?

Robin

Batman, you can't do this.

Batman

We live in a rather litigious age, Robin, an unfortunate fact of our modern society. Jurors often tend to side with the underdog in such cases, even when the underdog is a known criminal.

Cactus Kleinschmidt

All right Fliedermaus, vhat's it going to be?

_Cut to Scene 20. Exterior. The front lot of the casino at dawn. A crowd of gamblers, including Alfred and Aunt Harriet and her bridge club stand around, tense. Longshot is ad libbing and taking bets on the outcome of the duel. Blackjack is selling programs. Rouletta is selling drinks and snacks. Batman and Cactus Kleinschmidt stand side by side in an open area facing Fullhaus, who has an open BOX WITH DUELING PISTOLS. Commissioner Gordon, Chief O'Hara, and Robin stand on the sidelines. _

Aunt Harriet

Isn't this exciting, Alfred? An old time wild west duel, just like in the movies. I wonder why Bruce and Dick aren't here.

Alfred

Madame, I'm sure they are closer than you think.

Chief O'Hara

Mother McRee! I never thought I'd see it in me own lifetime, an actual duel. Oh, I hope Batman defeats that fiend once and fer all.

Commissioner Gordon

Look at those greedy gamblers over there! Making bets on Batman's blood! It's disgusting! Boy Wonder, I'm sorry you have to witness this.

Robin

Holy High Stakes! How can Batman survive going up against a master Prussian duelist?

Cactus Kleinschmidt

I've never lost, Fliedermaus.

Batman

There's a first time for everything, Cactus.

Cactus Kleinschmidt

Prepare to go to dat great bat cave in der sky, Fliedermaus. You are kaput. But if it makes you feel any better, don't vorry. I alvays aim for der heart, undt I never miss. You vill be dead before you hit der ground, undt my casino will continue to rake in der big bucks.

Batman

Just remember, Cactus: All the money in the world won't buy you happiness.

Fullhaus

Gentlemen, choose your weapons.

Cactus Kleinschmidt

You go first, Fliedermaus. Trust me, it von't make a difference in der end.

_Batman chooses a pistol. Cactus Kleinschmidt does the same._

Fullhaus

Gentlemen, put your backs up against one another and raise your pistols aiming for the sky.

_They comply._

Fullhaus

Gentlemen, I'm going to count to ten. As I count, you're each going to take one step forward. If either of you turns around to fire before I finish counting, you will be automatically disqualified, and your opponent will be the victor. After I finish counting to ten, you are to turn around and fire at your opponent. May the best man win. Gentlemen, good luck to both of you.

Announcer V.O.

Good Luck, indeed! Dueling pistols at dawn? An undefeated champion? Is Batman **really** about to cash in his chips? For the answers to these and other questions, tune in tomorrow, same Bat Time, Same Bat Channel!

End Of Part 1


End file.
